Dissonance
by Tofu-Monstrosity
Summary: It's been years since the Elements of Harmony have walked this earth. But one day a curious book falls on Spike and inside of it reveals so much more of his friends than he ever realized before. Rated for strong adult themes.
1. Prologue

"Spike would you come here please?" The voice of the princess of the sun calls me to her side.

"Yes Princess?" I ask graciously, her and I have worked together for going on two centuries now and I still bow to her highness. She giggles at the gesture, giving up telling me it was unnecessary.

"Can you go to the Starswirl the Bearded wing of the library and fetch me my book on Equestria flora? We're going to get a new landscaper soon and he wants to know the different plants we keep." Princess Celestia says to me.

"Absolutely princess!" I smile, showing all of my pointy teeth. I happily jaunt away, passing the royal guard on the way out and I flick my tongue out at them.

This scares them a little bit and it always makes me laugh. I am the only dragon in Canterlot and have been for the past several centuries. I am the scribe of Equestria. A title given to me by the princess herself and boy did it make me proud. Like the princesses themselves, dragons live for centuries. So it was a good fit for me to do as I grew older.

I make my way down the corridors of the palace and get to the Starswirl the Bearded wing. The mountains and towers of books would easily scare anypony away but not me. I was trained by the best.

I easily climb on the shelves and down the isles of books passing numerous titles and letters before stopping at E.

"E for Equestrian Flora" I smile, my teeth glowing as I climb the shelves. As I do, my huge feet prove to be clumsy and I slip.

"Uh-oh…" I mutter and before I know it a whole shelf of books has fallen under my weight and collapsed on top of me. "Ouch…" I mumble as I rise up from the fallen pile. "I'll…clean that later…" I say to no one in particular and rub the back of my neck. I look down at the books around me. "Great…" I pout, they are scattered everywhere. I start to shuffle through them, searching title by title.

"Equine Diseases" Nope.

"Electric Storms For Foals" Nada.

"Elevator Repair" What is that doing here?

"Elements of Harmony" Now there's a phrase that I haven't heard in a long time.

The book is old and bound with twine. It's falling apart and the pages are yellowed. It is very thick and heavy. I run a purple-scaled hand down the dirt-brown cover and as I do, memories from centuries ago flooded my mind. My claws start to quake. I need this book.

I set it aside and search for my original target. "Equestrian Flora: A Guide" was buried under a few others but not too hard to find. I picked it up along with my special prize and race down the corridor back to the princess.

"If there's a storm at night on Thursday that will ruin the view of the nearly full moon sister" Luna, the princess of the night was currently in a discussion with her sister over the events of the weather when I barge into the grand hall.

"Ah Spike, I see you found the book" Celestia smiles at me. Luna does too, the younger princess still a bit irked about the night storm, but happy to see me. Celestia uses her magic to float the book out of my claws.

"Yeah, though we might need a clean up in isle E" I blush a bit and Celestia laughs.

"I'll get someone on it" She states as her pristine eyes float to the other book still in my claws. "And what's that?" She motions to the book.

"Oh this?" I hold it out. "Well it fell on top of me. It's so old and I couldn't just let it sit there…" I sigh, looking at the worn out title on the front. "I'd like to look through it if you don't mind" I ask.

"I don't see why not, since you were very close to the Elements of Harmony I think it's a great idea." Celestia says. Luna looks at the book closer.

"What exactly is it sister?" Luna asks.

"Well, as you know Luna, the elements of Harmony were embodied by six brave ponies centuries ago. They helped keep our world at peace for a long time. But they were merely mortal ponies. Their times were ending. Before each of them passed we recorded their history in that book. It's been so long since I've seen it I've nearly forgotten about it." Celestia looks off into space, her mind wondering like mine is.

My eyes are glued to the disheveled book. Inside this book are the memories of my friends from my childhood when I lived in Ponyville. I can feel the stinging of tears as they well up behind my eyes. Not now Spike.

"Is it ok if I retire early? I would really like to read this" I state.

"Of course Spike" Princess Celestia comes back down to earth at the sound of my voice. I feel bad for pulling her out of her daydreams. She smiles softly towards me.

"Thank you" I take the book and saunter back to my quarters. The entire time my mind is filled with the wonders that this book holds. I can't believe that I have never known about this. I quicken my stride, as I grow excited to see what this wonderful book has to hold. My friends, my gone but not forgotten friends are in this book. I can feel a pang grow from the pit of my stomach. For once it is not the pang of hunger but that of excitement and fear. They've been gone for so many years and I finally get to see them again! Albeit in pictures, but it's more than my memory can serve.

I make it to my chambers and quickly lock the door behind me. I have a nice room in the palace, and a wonderful view of Canterlot. I set the book on my end table and peer out into the evening sky.

There it is, off in the distance there, in the shadow of Canterlot lies Ponyville. I smile with glee, I haven't been this happy in years. I turn back to the book. Its dilapidated cover beckoning me to open it and peer inside.


	2. Dishonesty

I close the window and turn back to my end table. Then I pick up the dusty book and brush it off. I use my purple claws to gently open the book.

_The Element of Honesty_

Sweet Celestia, I remember her well. I loved her inviting accent and when she ran how the wind would rip through her mane, all the while her Stetson hat stayed firmly on her head. It was true that Applejack was the embodiment of honesty. I take in a deep breath and turn the page.

"_To be honest I hated them for it…" _that is the first sentence on the page. I blink a few times. What am I reading? I look closer at the words on the page. It is written in her signature mouth writing. I can tell because despite being a typical farm girl, Applejack had very stylized writing. I'm pretty sure it was from when she went to Manehattan as a filly. Come to think of it, I never really knew much about my old friends' filly hood. Sure, I know their cutie mark stories but their actual background I know very little about. I keep reading, my green eyes scanning the page and I continue to read.

_"It pains me to say it but I did. I never understood how somepony's parents could just up and downright lie to their youngens. When I first heard the news I was devastated. _

_I remember it like it was yesterday…"_

* * *

The little orange filly springs out of bed at the crack of dawn as she does every morning. She skips past her older brother's room in the farmhouse the Apple family owns on the outskirts of Ponyville. She opens his door, sticking her head into his room.

"Big Mac! Time to get up!" She smiles brightly through her gapped teeth. The older colt was already up and making his bed. The orange filly admires his cutie mark he got a few weeks ago before looking at her own blank flank in envy.

"Eeyup" The colt smiles at his younger sister and they both trot down the hall. They pass their youngest sister's door and try to be as quiet as possible outside the new foal's room. Once they were past it they both started giggling and race down the stairs for breakfast.

"Mornin' kiddos!" the older green pony smiles at the filly and colt that sit at the table.

"Granny Smith! Do you know what today is?" The orange filly asks the older pony as she slides the apple pancakes onto their awaiting plates.

"Oh I don't know is it Hearths Warming eve?" Granny Smith teases.

"Granny! It's summer!" The young filly giggles knowing her grandmother was kidding around.

"Well then what is it dearie?" Granny Smith sits at the table with her tea.

"Today's the day Ma and Pa are gonna show us how to use the new tractor!" The filly smiles brightly.

"Oh Applejack don't get ahead of yourself." Granny Smith sips her tea.

"But they've been dyin' to show us Granny!" Applejack pleads with a mouthful of pancake in her mouth. She spits a bit out in her protest and this causes Big Macintosh to laugh a little bit.

The laughter and commotion causes the little foal upstairs to wake up and start crying. "Just be patient you two" Granny Smith says and grabs a bottle for the foal and proceeds to slowly walk up the stairs.

Applejack waits until Granny Smith is all the way up the stairs and out of sight before she pushes her plate away.

"Ya ready big brother?" Applejack asks as she stands up from the table, eagerly bouncing from hoof to hoof.

"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh takes his plate in his mouth and places it in the sink. He turns back to his younger sister with a knowing look.

"Ah fine!" With a hoof stomp she takes her plate to the sink too. "Happy now?" she asked.

"Eeyup" He smiles and winks at her. She nuzzles her brother and they head outside to the vast apple farm that lies out before them. Applejack breathes in the morning air. She never understood why a pony would sleep in on such beautiful days like this one.

"Can you believe it Big Mac? Our family, the first family in all of Ponyville to have their own electric farm equipment!" Applejack, beaming with pride walks around the house to the large barn.

"Ma! Pa!" Applejack bounces as they round the barn.

"Ovah here!" a large red stallion calls out from sitting atop a large tractor that dwarfed the yellow mare standing beside it.

"Lookie 'ere!" the mare smiles as her two children trotted over.

"A mighty fine tractor for a mighty fine deal!" smiles the stallion sitting proudly on the machine. He straightens his horse collar. "Now think of how easily we can harvest Sweet Apple Acers with this baby!" He hits the tractor with his hoof. He starts it up and it purrs with the ferocity of a manticore. This scares Applejack a little bit as she hides behind her brother.

"No worries" The sweet mare nudges her daughter out from behind her son. "It won't hurt ya" She smiles and tips her Stetson hat and that quickly calms Applejack.

"When can we ride it Ma?" She asks, her eyes lighting up in delight. The mare laughs gently.

"Not 'til you're older sweetie." The light in Applejack's face fades and her mother sees this.

"But you can still help!" She tries to cheer up her young filly. "Why don't you help your brother buck trees? Even with this contraption we still need all the hoof power we can get!" She winks at her daughter. Applejack beams with pride.

"I promise I'll be the best apple bucker this side of Equesteria!" Applejack smiles with vigor. Her mother laughs a bit.

"You sure will, now I'm gonna help your father with this confound thing" She sighs with a smile and canters over to the north field. Applejack turns to her brother and trots to the east field and joins him in bucking apples. She is smaller than he so she doesn't get quite as many and he has to help her.

* * *

"_I still can't believe what happened next" _I pause in my reading for a second; the imagery is a lot to take. For a moment there I thought I was in Applejack's place. I eagerly flip the page but I'm careful not to tear the old parchment. _"I thought it was a tree falling at first. But the sound, it was much worse. It sounded like the plows banging next to each other in a windstorm. The next thing I knew Granny Smith was out the door of the house and galloping as fast as a racehorse towards the north field."_

* * *

Applejack looks at her brother with a look of horror plastered upon her face. She gallops as fast as her little legs can take her. She is second to the scene after Granny Smith.

"Applejack! Get out!" Granny Smith yells with fervor. The terrible scene plays out in front of the filly's green eyes.

There underneath the tractor is her mother, and some fifty yards away is her father. Both are as still as an apple that had fallen from the tree before its prime. Big Macintosh runs up behind Applejack and pushes her behind him

"Ah said get out!" Granny Smith snaps, trying to mask her own tears. The two young ponies turn to run back to the house when Applejack looks back at her mother, she is halfway crushed by the behemoth.

"Ma don't leave me…" Applejack mutters.

"…Ah won't…" came the faint reply of the semi-conscious mare. Big Macintosh tugged at his sister and lead them back in the house to call for help.

* * *

"_I couldn't believe it. The next thing I remember was at their funeral. No filly should have to attend their parent's funeral. I remember wearing Ma's hat, and Big Mac had Pa's collar. _

_I was mad for a time. Ma and Pa lied to me. They said they would always be there for us and they lied. It weren't long after that was when I tried to make my way to Manehattan to get away from the grief. I took with me their picture but not Ma's hat. I was there for a while but found that didn't work the way I expected and I ended up returnin' to the farm and wearin' Ma's hat again. Granny Smith made a rule that there was to be no more farm equipment allowed on Sweet Apple Acers from that point until the end of time. I was all right with that._

_Now I don't take Ma's hat off no more besides for cleanin' and such. And I've never seen Big Mac without Pa's collar."_

I read the last few sentences over again. How have I not see this before? It all made so much sense now! I feel completely stupid for not seeing this before. I can't help but lean back with the book open on my lap. Am I really that blind or was Applejack just that good at hiding things? The events of what I just read keep replaying through my mind like one of Pinkie Pie's records. I feel like this is too personal for me to be reading. Yet strangely I feel obligated to finish.

I take a gulp and turn the page to keep reading.


	3. Cruelty

I wipe my eyes, there's no turning back now. I flip the page.

Kindness

I smile, oh Fluttershy. I remember when we first met how totally enthralled she was with me. She was the only pony who ever took interest in my life. It was easy to see to any one who ever met her that she was the element of pure kindness. I smile in remembrance of her. There was no softer heart than hers.

"_Well, I guess forgiveness is important. I forgave them throughout the years. It was hard at first especially with all that they did…"_

* * *

The small filly sits alone in her room again. She plays with her small dolls.

"No Mr. shoeshine! Please don't take me away," She whispers, very quiet as to not wake her mother. "Oh Miss. Candysweets you shall come with me" She does all the voices for the different characters. Alone in her little cloud room in her little cloud house within the vast city of Cloudsdale lives a small family.

The filly suddenly stops her play at the sound of a door slamming. The color fades from her yellow fur. Her father's home. She is still as a rabbit hearing a predator.

"FLUTTERSHY!" Yells the strong male voice coming from downstairs. The yellow filly lowers her head so her soft pink mane falls forward covering her face. She slowly steps out of the room and into the hall.

"Yes father?" She whimpers, her voice is soft and barely audible.

"Get down here now!" he orders. Quietly, Fluttershy steps down the cloud stairs and approaches the tall yellow stallion standing in the living room. The scent of alcohol reeks around him and wafts around the room hitting Fluttershy's eyes and causes them to sting. "Have you practiced flying?" He roars.

"I…I tried…sir…" She mutters.

"Tried!? There is no try!" He growls.

"Yes sir." Fluttershy lowers her head.

"I was captain of the Wonderbolts for crying out loud!" He roars. "I didn't give that up to have a filly who can't even fly!" Rage is etched on his face. Fluttershy doesn't attempt to make eye contact.

* * *

"_He would come home every day the same way. He would drink so much hard cider that our house permanently smelled like it. I guess that's why I like to keep a clean house…" _I stop reading for a moment to get a glass of water. This is going to be a doozy I can feel it. I leave my chambers and walk to the kitchen, inside sitting at the head of the table is Princess Celestia. She is alone.

"Hi Princess" I make my presence known.

"Hello Spike. Are you finished with the book?" She asks.

"No I'm still reading it. Just getting a glass of water." I state, grabbing the glass and filling it with water from the kitchen sink.

"I see. Well tell me when you are finished. I would sure like to read it when you are done." The Princess reminds me.

"Of course" I smile and make my exit. I wonder why she's in the kitchen alone. No doubt trying to steal some of the cake the chef made last night. I shake my head while entering my room and plop back down on my bed to continue reading.

* * *

"You wanna know something?" He looks down on her, as she quivers in fright from him. "I wanted a son. A strong young colt to take after me and all I got was you!" His drunken ramble increases. Fluttershy closes her eyes out of fear.

"Stop it!" Came a mare's voice from atop the stairs. "What did I tell you about coming home drunk and tormenting our daughter like that!" She starts to make her way down the stairs to confront him. She is a tall mare with a light teal coat and a pink mane.

"Shut up!" He raises his hoof and strikes her across the face. She stumbles. "And what can you do? All you do is lay in bed all day moping! You good for nothing mule!" He strikes her again, this time the mare falters and falls to the floor, her eyes closed and sobbing lightly. Fluttershy stands up and races to her mother. She nuzzles her. "Get away from her!" yells her father as he lunges after Fluttershy, who quickly sidesteps him. He stumbles forward as Fluttershy runs and hides under their couch. "Get back here!" He roars and uses his massive strength to move the couch. He bites her tail and drags her across the room.

Fluttershy opens her wings and tries to fly but she barely gets in the air. He easily pulls her down and she hits the cloud floor with a _thwop_.

* * *

I wipe tears from my eyes. Never would I have ever of guessed that a pony so kind to every animal and creature she ever met was subject to such torture. I feel awful that I never knew, that I couldn't be the one to help her.

Part of me wants to close the book and forget that I ever read this intimate testimony. But I know I can't. That would be wrong of me to disgrace her memory. I shall continue on.

"_Not long after that I was enrolled in flight school…"_

* * *

"I'm sick of looking at you" Was the reason given to Fluttershy when she asked her father why she was being sent to summer flight camp. She held her emotions inside and tried to hide the tears that were knocking at the door.

Her bags were already pre-packed for her and the taxi was paid for. She left in the morning. Forever leaving her parents behind, she didn't look back, instead she kept her eyes planted on the floor of the cab.

* * *

"_The filly's and colts at flight camp were not nice, their insults still ring out in my head, "Klutzershy", "Flutterfail" among many others still haunt my memory. I could never understand how some ponies could be so cruel. I guess I never will. _

"_When I found out my father drank himself to death I did not cry. I guess that is my own cruelty showing through. I didn't loose a wink of sleep over the letter from my mother that said what he had done. In fact, and I hate to admit it, I was kind of glad. Oh my that sounds truly awful. I am so sorry."_

My brow furrows as the story ends. Just like that. I can't begin to comprehend what Fluttershy held in for so many years.

I look outside and see Celestia guiding her sun down over the horizon and Luna raising her moon. I turn on my lamp and continue reading.


	4. Weeping

Luna's moon is so beautiful tonight. It is almost full and the light that shines off of it is enough to drape all of Equestria in a light blanket of warm peace. The glow of my lamp is filling my room with an artificial essence. I flip the page.

Laughter

I can't help but smile as I read that word and memories of that wonderful, ever-happy pink mare dance in my head. Pinkie Pie was something else. The parties she would throw! They were known all throughout Equestria. I especially remember her last party. It was at her deathbed.

I rip my head out of my memories and start to read the page.

"_After I got my cutie mark I wanted to throw parties all the time. But my family would have none of it…"_

* * *

"Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Her father roars. "What did I say about parties?" He growls, opening the door to her room, letting a balloon fly out.

Standing in the middle of the commotion is a small pink filly. Her mane, also pink, is corkscrewed and chaotic. She smiles up at her father, the sturdy rock farmer with a stone-gray mane that was tattered from years of work.

"Hi daddy!" She smiles, sitting in the middle of balloons, streamers, party hats, and festive decorations littering her room. He sighs.

"We've had this discussion before Pinkamena…" He sighs. "Remember what I said?" With that the filly's smile fades.

"I'm in here to keep me away from the other ponies…" She recites.

"Exactly." He states. "And you've got to stop doing that to your mane." He takes a hoof and flattens it out. "There, just like your mother and sisters." He turns to leave, taking the door with him. But before he can completely close it a small voice stops him.

"Daddy?" wavers the small filly's voice. He turns and looks over his shoulder.

"When can I come out?" She asks. He sighs.

"I don't know Pinkamena. Whenever this silly phase is over I guess…" And with that he closes and locks the door. Keeping his filly locked inside.

Pinkamina stares at the door. Her blue eyes tremor before the tears start to burst through. She sobs and as if on cue the balloons start to deflate and the party favors start to fall.

Her cries are not uncommon within the Pie household. She cries day and night, often sobbing herself to sleep. She knows of nothing outside of the rock farm. She was never able to leave the confines of her room after she saw that beautiful rainbow. The constant parties got to be too much for her family, they couldn't handle the ever-rambunctious filly, and they locked her up in her room with nothing but her own mind as company.

* * *

I have to stop reading. I rub my temples with my claws. There is no way that this is true. None whatsoever. But, why did it make so much sense? Why had this not been brought up before? Pinkie's inability to stay in one place for more than a few minutes, her need to be with her friends and not alone, it all hits me like a brick, it has to be true.

* * *

"_My father never really liked me. After all, I was a constant reminder to whom my mother slept with that one night. My father would look for any possible moment to get rid of me. And I remember the day like it was yesterday…"_

Clyde Pie storms into Pinkamena's room. He is furious.

"I have had ENOUGH!" He yells, staring at his daughter, who was sitting on the floor, her mane flat against her tear-stained face. "I cannot take your crying anymore!" He opens her closet door.

A few springy worms pop out at him and he yells, stumbling over his own hoofs. Pinkamina giggles a bit, a few strands of hair curling as she does so. However this only fuels her father's rage.

"That's it!" He finds a suitcase at the bottom of the closet. "You're leaving this place! You are no good here." He snaps. PInkamena stares at him with frightened eyes. Her father picks up the suitcase and drops it at her feet. "I have arranged for a couple in Ponyville to take you in. You will work there. Maybe you'll be good to them there." He states, looking at his daughter who only stares at the suitcase in front of her. "Are you going to pack anything?" She looks up to her father.

"No." Is all she states.

"Fine. Then get going." He moves aside from the door and the pink filly trots down the stairs. She ignores her mothers sobbing from the kitchen. She looks away from her sisters' stares as she walks out the front door of the farmhouse. She walks towards what she thinks is Ponyville. She leaves the confines of the farm. All she's ever known is disappearing behind her as she enters Ponyville city limits.

At that moment all of Equestria unfolds before her like it was made anew just for her. She looks at all the buildings in wonder, slowly her mane starts to curl and unfurl. She stops in front of a bright cupcake looking building. She smiles widely, she could Pinkie swear that she got her cutie mark that day.

* * *

"_I knew in my heart that I belonged at Sugarcube Corner. The Cake's were so nice to me, they gave me a home and food and I worked for them however I could. I knew that I had nothing left for me on the rock farm. There are days where I wonder how my family is doing but I try not to think about it. Instead I try to make the rest of Equestria smile and laugh with me."_

I lean back in bed and stare at the far wall. All this time and I never knew. I never thought to ask. Everything behind what Pinkie has ever done is explained in this book.

I make a mental note to remind Celestia that this book should be taken better care of before flipping the page.


End file.
